sisters!

people are very up on helping aviyah be happy and comfortable and excited for yalei. (i think aviyah's actually gotten more gifts than yalei has!) for real, i think aviyah thinks celebrating yalei's birthday was fun, and b'h, she's been the super nicest girl ever to yalei. she likes to hug and kiss her, and she's upset about her belly button booboo. she helped us to change one of her diapers, too. (she's been praciticing.)

i think that's been really nice to see because i think the whole sister thing is a gamble, right? i mean, i think it's one of those things that even if you try to do certain things really well, it's still just a complete world change that upsets the order you have. i think it's really important to help prepare her, but at the same time, it's also something that's unprepareable and unpredictable, right? how _do_ we adjust when our world completely changes?

one thing that i've noticed, though, is that i feel a bit uncomfortable with the whole "big sister" thing. (i should say this isn't about anybody or anything anybody said. i know for sure that i don't expect anybody else to read this and adjust how they act or speak. and, i don't even know if i'm completely right.) i guess i just feel awkward really reinforcing that she's the "big" sister. (she did make a pretty cool hat at chai tots, though!)

i feel like it's important to get across to her that she's a sister, and definitely that it's important to love and help and be nice to our sister. still, i feel like the emphasis on being a big sister, that a big sister can do more and knows more, can set up a weird situation. i think maybe my perspective is colored by being the "younger" brother. still, i think if we think, which we do, that the things that we say and do now matter later, and the things that we teach her help build her identity and how she sees the world, and i think that we do and it does, then how we communicate being a sister is really important as well.

i don't want to really reinforce the idea that she's bigger and all of the things that come with that. there's one book that we've been reading that says "i can use the potty" or "i can feed myself" or "i can dress myself". (put aside the fact that aviyah's still kinda young, and she can't do all of those things all of the time anyway.) it also then kinda makes her feel better and bigger because it says that the baby cannot yet do those things. anyway, i just feel like it's an empty ego feeder, and i don't want to _reinforce_ this idea that she just knows more and can do more than yalei. i want to reinforce the idea that aviyah is wonderful for the things that she knows how to do, and yalei is wonderful for the things that she knows how to do.

i understand, of course, that aviyah _is_ physically bigger, but why is it necessary to give her credit for being nice as the "big" sister? i feel like that limits the message. isn't the message really that she should get credit for being nice as a -stam- sister. we are nice to people because it is right to be nice to people. we love people because we care for them and how they are. we don't like or love because we are a big sister or a little brother. i think i want to teach her that we love our family because we love our family. we love each other because we are mommies and daddies and brothers and sisters. not so much because we are bigger or smaller or prettier or smarter or whatever. anyway, we'll see.