carnivale!

wiki

i'm starting a new wiki for my classroom at:
www.mrravin.pbwiki.com

self efficacy

in social work, i studied young adolescent identity development. i was deeply interested in how young adults tested and confirmed their personal and social identities. in order establish a clear definition of identity for reserach, it's necessary to define identity and the variables that define identity exploration and identity confirmation.

i remember that one very important variable in my research, self-efficacy, measured an individual's belief that they would succeed or fail in relation to real personal experience. for example, high self efficacy means that an individual has a strong belief that he or she will succeed, even though objective personal experience may not show that to be true. in contrast, low self efficacy means that an individual believes that he or she will fail, even though all personal experience should lead the individual to believe that they will be successful.

i am thinking about that know because it's always really stuck with me. i've felt, when i've looked at myself, that i succeed. i know that if i set out to achieve a goal, i will achieve that goal. i've really deeply beleived that, and of course, there are a series of goals that i have been fortunate to accomplish. at the same time, i realize also, that by choosing to beleive that i am a string of successes, i have chosen to deemphasize or outright ignore significant experiences where i have failed or simply not achieved my goal.

it's interesting, though, because i see that as you believe, as you genuinely believe that you can accomplish hard tasks, you are first increasingly likely to take them on and second increasingly likely to succeed at them. you unconsciously marginalize marginal setbacks and emphasize personal accomplishments as representative.

it reminds me of when somebody says to a young teacher, "fake it til you make it." i don't really believe it's like that because i don't think you set out to marginalize or emphasize this accomplishment or that failure. i think, inside of the matirx of variables of identity, when you come to clearly confirm a personal identity, it is because you have a deep seated understanding of who you are and who you truly want to be.

unless of course, it isn't true at all. unless, of course, this whole thing is a sham and i'm right back where i was when i was 16. who am i? who am i now? who was i then? who do i want to be? how can i be that person i really want to be? and, most importantly, how is it that sometimes, sometimes it feels like i'm so terribly far away?

pictures

mother's day

mommy and yalei and aviyah and daddy went to make pottery to celebrate mother's day. aviyah really wanted to paint the dog. she also wanted to play in the park. and break the picture frame. and eat the penguin.

zoo

Museum of Natural History

aviyah and i visited the museum of natural history to see an exhibit on frogs. she loves animals, and i thought she might really get into the show. unfortunately, i figured a bit wrong. the cases were styled for adults, so she wasn't able to really be super excited. still, we had fun.

buzzards bay

camels

aviyah and daddy

big girl

aviyah is officially a big girl.

we visited dr. watson in early december for her 6 month checkup. the doctor gave very positive feedback, but we were kind of frustrated because aviyah still had trouble sleeping. it was really hard because she woke at least twice during the night, and her daytime naps were really short. she was getting older and older, and we knew that she would learn to sleep longer. still, it felt like so long!

we'd tried several ideas to help her sleep longer, and it was frustrating to hear her cry so much. i think now that she wasn't ready yet. many babies sleep longer earlier, but other babies take a bit more time. we know that babies overall develop in similar stages, but sometimes it's hard to remember there is a wide range for individual development. there feels like so much pressure sometimes when you hear so many different kinds of stories. certainly, there may be choices we made that delayed her sleep, but other choices might have helped out. it's hard to know for sure. it's hard to know if she was supposed to be a better sleeper or maybe even worse?

it may be just that she's really ready now. aviyah's been improving so much. she's sleeping longer and longer, and she is able to go without nursing at all during the night, now. last night, she slept for almost 11 hours straight through. when she's sleeping, it's still so strange. i think, "is she really still asleep? really?"

aviyah can also take a bottle!

we missed the boat earlier. when aviyah was very young, samantha had surgery. my mom visited to help us, and aviyah was able to drink from the bottle while samantha was away. it seemed like aviyah had no problem, and we switched back to nursing when samantha was ready. you read and learn that there can be different kinds of problems breastfeeding, and we were nervous that aviyah might not nurse as well as before. when she did nurse well, we forgot to reintroduce the bottle early enough. the next time we tried to feed her a bottle, several months later, she absolutely refused!

last weekend, samantha went away for jocelyn and will's wedding. on friday, jenny and david played with aviyah during the day, but she refused to take any bottles. she was incredibly cranky, but i gave her some liquids from the sippy cup. she was hydrated, but she wasn't able to really take a bottle. we were all worried, and the next morning she woke up hungry and thirsty. then, she took the bottle right away! it was so strange. she fought and fought the bottle for so long, but shabbat morning she was hungry and thirsty enough to drink from the bottle.

what a big girl!

: )

me and daddy-o

baby slope

put me in coach

bubbles, 'see'food, tooshie