so we've been trying to work on brattiness. there are kids in my classroom who are straight brats sometimes, and i know that i would leave the country before i would raise a bratty kid. so, i think the real big question for us is how do we raise a kind and respectful child at the same time that we teach her to be independent and empowered. i feel like there is a really important line between children who feel entitled and children who feel empowered.
Thursday, July 10
Wednesday, July 9
i admit it.
i haven't really written a substantial post for a bit. it's been a little crazy. i feel like it's funny, but that's already a blog trope, right? i met with a teacher friend recently, and she said she had a friend who wrote a crazy popular blog on motherhood.
my blog is not really popular, but one of the reasons that i really wanted to write on aviyah and now the girls was to counter some of the tropes that people say about parenting. i feel like a lot of times people want to make a really pretty face. we don't want to look like we're less than somebody else, right? still, i feel like it's important to talk about the things that are pretty hard. and i feel like sometimes people say pretty silly stuff just because they've heard other people say it. i know that i don't know the answers, but i do know that some of the answers i've heard are just plain off, sometimes.
anyway, aviyah had a really really tough time when yalei was first born. she was and she is pretty kind to yalei, but she had a crazy tough time with samantha and me. we were a little crazy. she started pushing us sometimes. she even bit me twice. i was, for real, at a loss. i was like, where did you learn this? i can't front. i was really offended. so, i made crazy mistakes when i was younger, but i'm pretty nonviolent. i don't believe in any kind of violence, so i was like, where did you get this from? where did you even get the idea that that's even possible to do? to bite people? it was tiring just thinking on it.
and i think that's one thing that people want to put a face on, right? one of my friends asked me if i had any good tips for helping their new son adjust. i said, for real, there are some really good tips we learned, but i don't know that you want to know our tips because aviyah was crazy rough for a minute. i don't know that we did things all off, though. i think some of it is just a gamble, right? i mean, i don't know that you can know how it's all gonna play out, and i think sometimes it's just gonna play out rough. at the same time, our reaction doesn't have to be a gamble. our parenting doesn't have to be a gamble. maybe we don't know how she's always going to react. we can't predict that, right. still, we can predict what we want to do, and when we don't know for sure, we can find out what works.
we bought a few books on toddler discipline to help us through some things. she did get a lot better at around a month, but it was crazy nuts for those weeks, and i kinda thought the cuteness was all gone. i mean, aviyah's always had a little edge. she's got that mischievous thing, like she knows she's pulling something, and then you look at her and she gives this look back and starts giggling. but this was different, right? i felt like, okay, though, this is where we earn our money. we've just got to figure out how to do this right.
it's like teaching, in that sense. yes, there is some instinct to being a good teacher or a good parent. you've got to make some real important decisions in the moment that are just gonna work out or they're not. still, i don't buy the sense that you're only gonna do this by instinct and experience. for sure, our experience matters, and i value my experience with kids. at the same time, if i've worked with x amount of kids, there's people that've worked with x*2 kids.
the bottom line is that there's real research out there. we don't have to make stuff up. there's real data, right? there's real information that tells us how to react better, how to make smarter choices, what the smarter choices are. i've always said that teachers who don't value what they learned in their teacher training either were terrible students or went to terrible schools. of course there's things to learn! of course you don't come knowing how to do this stuff right. i think we've got to figure out how to do our own parent research, our own parent training. and i feel like if we say we don't value that parent training, we're either being bad parenting students or going to bad parenting schools, you know?
sometimes i don't know which way is which, and sometimes, as a parent, i hope i'm making the right choice, but sometimes i'm not and i've got to figure out how to. i know, always, i can learn stuff. so i admit it. i know it's not always popular. but i'm an english teacher and sometimes i read books to find answers.
my blog is not really popular, but one of the reasons that i really wanted to write on aviyah and now the girls was to counter some of the tropes that people say about parenting. i feel like a lot of times people want to make a really pretty face. we don't want to look like we're less than somebody else, right? still, i feel like it's important to talk about the things that are pretty hard. and i feel like sometimes people say pretty silly stuff just because they've heard other people say it. i know that i don't know the answers, but i do know that some of the answers i've heard are just plain off, sometimes.
anyway, aviyah had a really really tough time when yalei was first born. she was and she is pretty kind to yalei, but she had a crazy tough time with samantha and me. we were a little crazy. she started pushing us sometimes. she even bit me twice. i was, for real, at a loss. i was like, where did you learn this? i can't front. i was really offended. so, i made crazy mistakes when i was younger, but i'm pretty nonviolent. i don't believe in any kind of violence, so i was like, where did you get this from? where did you even get the idea that that's even possible to do? to bite people? it was tiring just thinking on it.
and i think that's one thing that people want to put a face on, right? one of my friends asked me if i had any good tips for helping their new son adjust. i said, for real, there are some really good tips we learned, but i don't know that you want to know our tips because aviyah was crazy rough for a minute. i don't know that we did things all off, though. i think some of it is just a gamble, right? i mean, i don't know that you can know how it's all gonna play out, and i think sometimes it's just gonna play out rough. at the same time, our reaction doesn't have to be a gamble. our parenting doesn't have to be a gamble. maybe we don't know how she's always going to react. we can't predict that, right. still, we can predict what we want to do, and when we don't know for sure, we can find out what works.
we bought a few books on toddler discipline to help us through some things. she did get a lot better at around a month, but it was crazy nuts for those weeks, and i kinda thought the cuteness was all gone. i mean, aviyah's always had a little edge. she's got that mischievous thing, like she knows she's pulling something, and then you look at her and she gives this look back and starts giggling. but this was different, right? i felt like, okay, though, this is where we earn our money. we've just got to figure out how to do this right.
it's like teaching, in that sense. yes, there is some instinct to being a good teacher or a good parent. you've got to make some real important decisions in the moment that are just gonna work out or they're not. still, i don't buy the sense that you're only gonna do this by instinct and experience. for sure, our experience matters, and i value my experience with kids. at the same time, if i've worked with x amount of kids, there's people that've worked with x*2 kids.
the bottom line is that there's real research out there. we don't have to make stuff up. there's real data, right? there's real information that tells us how to react better, how to make smarter choices, what the smarter choices are. i've always said that teachers who don't value what they learned in their teacher training either were terrible students or went to terrible schools. of course there's things to learn! of course you don't come knowing how to do this stuff right. i think we've got to figure out how to do our own parent research, our own parent training. and i feel like if we say we don't value that parent training, we're either being bad parenting students or going to bad parenting schools, you know?
sometimes i don't know which way is which, and sometimes, as a parent, i hope i'm making the right choice, but sometimes i'm not and i've got to figure out how to. i know, always, i can learn stuff. so i admit it. i know it's not always popular. but i'm an english teacher and sometimes i read books to find answers.
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