i've kind of been a little bit worried about yalei, sometimes. aviyah was really kind of sharp and more willful, so i felt like maybe sometimes yalei was a little bit behind. and maybe, also, sometimes i knew a little bit less about yalei because i was spending much more time with aviyah when yalei was really really little. (i mean, she's still crazy little, but anyway.)
i feel like it's definitely more difficult making sure that all of the attention that you have given to the first child you can also give to a second child. for me, i feel like it's not about interest, as in, i've played that game too many times already or i've done that already, and i'm bored now. it's more that you were so concentrated on each developmental step the first child made, and you were so focused on each challenge or each strategy. and aviyah does require a lot of attention.
in that way, though, i think it's actually good that yalei is not as crowded as maybe aviyah was. she's definitely able to chill out on her own and explore more things independently. i mean, it's always confusing though, too: how much does our response determine their character? how much does their character determine their response? i think, maybe, it's also a little that it's harder for me to work so much with yalei because aviyah is so much more engaged. i know that for both girls when they were really really little it feels like it is all going out, and it's really hard to get feedback. then, as aviyah gets older, that interaction and feedback is so engaging. and demanding.
but i really have been trying to do a lot more with yalei, now. first because i think it's especially important _right now_ for yalei, and second, i also think it's super important for aviyah to see. i mean, i think aviyah is really great in a ton of ways, but i also think that all of the focus we put on the way we work with her also helped make her a little bit more centered around us. it's hard to say for sure, but i know sometimes already aviyah seems to need to be closer to us than even yalei. sometimes i joke that i think yalei's gonna stand up when her big sister gets beat up in the school yard.
so, in some ways, i really do think yalei is good for aviyah because we do have to teach her to stay back a little bit and also for yalei because she is already more adjusted and independent in a lot of ways.
at yalei's last visit to the doctor, they said that she's met all of her developmental milestones and should be pulling up to standing and starting to crawl soon. it's funny because, of course, the milestones aren't really really important. i mean, i really do believe that everyone does their own thing in their own time. at the same time, i think we definitely want to get her into her milestones because those steps help her development. it's that in each stage they gain important abilities, so it's not to stress about, but at the same time, we do want her moving forward, right?
when she does move forward, it's crazy to see, you know? and also she's started commando crawling and crawling to go after things and she just started to crawl up on things. we were talking with a friend and they thought she was so young because when they are so young they kind of stick in that place in your mind. and sometimes i know people get frustrated if i guess the child's wrong age, but i do it too, you know? i mean, it is really crazy that she was totally in one spot, and now all of a sudden, she's moving!
she's especially into people food. she wants to eat everything we're eating and i think she's choked like 73 times on pieces of food that i give to her that are too big. although, in full disclosure, i kind of let them juggle with lit torches and sharp knives. i'm not so into the general rules about what they shouldn't be able to do or not do. i mean, i definitely believe in structure and discipline. it's not that it's all free reign. it's just i think some of these rules that we make are so crazy silly. i just feel like she should be totally okay to explore whatever, and i really feel like that even when we fall or scrape our knee, or cut our chin, we learn from that too.
anyway, one of my friends was talking the other day about how his child doesn't answer his questions or doesn't listen sometimes to what he's asking. so, anyway, he was asking me why i let aviyah do so many things that she wants to do, like go to the playroom in her underwear or play in the park without shoes or stand on the windowsill. i said, i mean, i know it seems silly or crazy or disrespectful or whatever, but think that those things that she wants to do really aren't bit deals at all. and, when something is a really big deal i want to be able to explain that no, sweetheart, this really is a real rule, an actual serious rule, something that really is important to honor and respect. something we want to make sure of. and, pooh pooh pooh, she listens.
so, i guess, making smaller pieces of food is a real actual rule that i should probably honor and respect too.
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