Thursday, January 29
Monday, January 19
arbah echad echad
aviyah has been speaking hebrew really well, lately. she is probably well behind a native speaker, and for sure she gets tongue tied sometimes when she is trying to speak really fast. when she really doesn't know what a word is she'll definitely say the phrase in heblish. but, for the most part, now she's speaking to me 95% of the time in hebrew. she's even picking up on some grammar things, like the "et" and gender stuff.
one major major thing that i did do that i think that's really really helped is that i only only speak to her always in hebrew. i've only ever said one real thing to her english ("just so you i make sure you totally understand i am going to also say this in english: it is never ever never okay to push or hit mommy or daddy or anybody!"), and i started over the summer to only only respond to her if she said something to me in hebrew. it seemed really kind of harsh at first, maybe, but it is definitely the thing that pushed her to have to start speaking in hebrew to me, i think, because we do spend a lot of time together, and we are close, and i think anyways it helped her want to talk in hebrew.
i'm also still working on improving my hebrew because i'm definitely only okay. i feel like sometimes i've gotten a lot better, and i know that i've come a really long way, but sometimes i still get discouraged too. i have a really hard time listening and following, and i know i still make a lot of grammar mistakes that are probably simple but that i don't know. for the most part, i can feel like i can find the right words that i want to say. every once in a while i have to dumb down a word because i can't find the one i wanted, but we actually don't use a crazy big range of verbs or adjectives in normal conversation.
i do feel like i maybe i stalled for a little bit because it was hard with starting school last semester and also teaching and also the girls. now, i'm starting to try to get better again. i started a subscription for sha'ar la-matchil, a hebrew language newspaper, and also i started trying to listen to israeli news. it's crazy hard to follow the israeli shows yet, but hopefully if i keep trying it will get a little easier. it's definitely one thing that people have _always_ tried to encourage me to do: watch israeli tv.
hopefully, it will help. maybe it's kind of like when i think back to moments when i didn't know how to say the shapes in hebrew when i first started. isn't that crazy? (i mean, sometimes i think about what i knew when i actually started to talk to aviyah in hebrew, and it's really really crazy. i mean, it's genuinely nuts. i didn't know anything, really.) you don't know what's going on, and then, hopefully, you do.
when i was talking with my friend, i realized that i really need to keep improving. he was saying, well where does this all go? what is the end goal? when do you want to stop talking with her in hebrew?
i said that i think probably i always want to speak to her in hebrew, but i hadn't really thought about it like that. i'd gotten some pushback from some people about why was i speaking hebrew in the first place, but i think that's a little more silly. first of all, people across the world are bilingual or more, and research is pretty clear: second language fluency is a huge positive. but, mostly, i decided to speak hebrew because i want to teach a more intimate and more direct connection to judaism and jewish culture.
i feel like it's really hard to pass down theology, and i feel like it's not crazy essential that my girls grow up to be observant, whatever that means. at the same time, it is important to me that they have a strong identity and a strong jewish identity. so much of how this is done sometimes is not sustainable, and i just feel like language is a real clear way to make connections.
still, i don't think i'd thought so far down the road. i mean, i kind of just decided to do it really quickly without a really huge background. i didn't even start speaking to aviyah in hebrew, we discovered, until around 10 or 11 months. i think i said my first things in hebrew to her when we so it's been less than two years since i started. (of course, she wasn't talking so much then either.)
in the end, i've actually done a lot a lot of programs and study to learn the hebrew that i am learning. i mean, it really is possible to do. at the same time, i've really spent a lot of time and given a lot of effort to figure it all out. i've always said that if a monkey spent as much time learning hebrew as i do, the monkey would speak better than me. and, still, my listening to hebrew is way way behind. because i speak all the time in hebrew, i'm pretty good at saying what i need to say. alhtough i'm sure my vocabulary is much smaller than i'd normally use, i can find the words to describe the things i need to say. i'm sure that to really get better now i ned to have more fluent conversations and more practice listening.
b'ezrat ha-shem.
ps. a new hebrew language charter school in brooklyn got approval to approval to open this fall. yesh!
Sunday, January 18
get off the road!
yalei is on the move. yikes!
i've kind of been a little bit worried about yalei, sometimes. aviyah was really kind of sharp and more willful, so i felt like maybe sometimes yalei was a little bit behind. and maybe, also, sometimes i knew a little bit less about yalei because i was spending much more time with aviyah when yalei was really really little. (i mean, she's still crazy little, but anyway.)
i've kind of been a little bit worried about yalei, sometimes. aviyah was really kind of sharp and more willful, so i felt like maybe sometimes yalei was a little bit behind. and maybe, also, sometimes i knew a little bit less about yalei because i was spending much more time with aviyah when yalei was really really little. (i mean, she's still crazy little, but anyway.)
i feel like it's definitely more difficult making sure that all of the attention that you have given to the first child you can also give to a second child. for me, i feel like it's not about interest, as in, i've played that game too many times already or i've done that already, and i'm bored now. it's more that you were so concentrated on each developmental step the first child made, and you were so focused on each challenge or each strategy. and aviyah does require a lot of attention.
in that way, though, i think it's actually good that yalei is not as crowded as maybe aviyah was. she's definitely able to chill out on her own and explore more things independently. i mean, it's always confusing though, too: how much does our response determine their character? how much does their character determine their response? i think, maybe, it's also a little that it's harder for me to work so much with yalei because aviyah is so much more engaged. i know that for both girls when they were really really little it feels like it is all going out, and it's really hard to get feedback. then, as aviyah gets older, that interaction and feedback is so engaging. and demanding.
but i really have been trying to do a lot more with yalei, now. first because i think it's especially important _right now_ for yalei, and second, i also think it's super important for aviyah to see. i mean, i think aviyah is really great in a ton of ways, but i also think that all of the focus we put on the way we work with her also helped make her a little bit more centered around us. it's hard to say for sure, but i know sometimes already aviyah seems to need to be closer to us than even yalei. sometimes i joke that i think yalei's gonna stand up when her big sister gets beat up in the school yard.
so, in some ways, i really do think yalei is good for aviyah because we do have to teach her to stay back a little bit and also for yalei because she is already more adjusted and independent in a lot of ways.
at yalei's last visit to the doctor, they said that she's met all of her developmental milestones and should be pulling up to standing and starting to crawl soon. it's funny because, of course, the milestones aren't really really important. i mean, i really do believe that everyone does their own thing in their own time. at the same time, i think we definitely want to get her into her milestones because those steps help her development. it's that in each stage they gain important abilities, so it's not to stress about, but at the same time, we do want her moving forward, right?
when she does move forward, it's crazy to see, you know? and also she's started commando crawling and crawling to go after things and she just started to crawl up on things. we were talking with a friend and they thought she was so young because when they are so young they kind of stick in that place in your mind. and sometimes i know people get frustrated if i guess the child's wrong age, but i do it too, you know? i mean, it is really crazy that she was totally in one spot, and now all of a sudden, she's moving!
she's especially into people food. she wants to eat everything we're eating and i think she's choked like 73 times on pieces of food that i give to her that are too big. although, in full disclosure, i kind of let them juggle with lit torches and sharp knives. i'm not so into the general rules about what they shouldn't be able to do or not do. i mean, i definitely believe in structure and discipline. it's not that it's all free reign. it's just i think some of these rules that we make are so crazy silly. i just feel like she should be totally okay to explore whatever, and i really feel like that even when we fall or scrape our knee, or cut our chin, we learn from that too.
anyway, one of my friends was talking the other day about how his child doesn't answer his questions or doesn't listen sometimes to what he's asking. so, anyway, he was asking me why i let aviyah do so many things that she wants to do, like go to the playroom in her underwear or play in the park without shoes or stand on the windowsill. i said, i mean, i know it seems silly or crazy or disrespectful or whatever, but think that those things that she wants to do really aren't bit deals at all. and, when something is a really big deal i want to be able to explain that no, sweetheart, this really is a real rule, an actual serious rule, something that really is important to honor and respect. something we want to make sure of. and, pooh pooh pooh, she listens.
so, i guess, making smaller pieces of food is a real actual rule that i should probably honor and respect too.
Saturday, January 10
qassamcounts
on facebook, organizations and movements sometimes create mini-applications to donate your status to their cause. for example, i donated my status to an election day movement that encouraged people to vote. the application automatically updates your status so it appears near the top of your friends' news feeds and attracts their attention. recently, hawkish pro-israel supporters started a "QassamCount" mini-application that updates your status to count the number of qassam rockets sent into israel.
for example, today's qassam count status writes, "QassamCount: At least 16 Hamas rockets hit Israel Saturday. 2 rockets hit houses in the city of Ashkelon."
there is no doubt that hamas rockets sent indiscriminately into israel were wrong and dangerous and should be considered offensive attacks. we must condemn them. hamas says that they want to destroy israel, and we should believe them. violence against israeli civilians is hateful and unjust. the qassamcounts aren't offensive because they are lies. i accept that the qassamcounts are probably true. (that palestinian militants continue to shoot missiles into southern israel, by the way, undermines the central mission of israel's offensive to stop rocket fire into israel proper.)
instead, i think the qassamcounts are offensive because they are so blind and deaf to real reality right now. the israeli response, in ten days of fighting, has killed more than 800 palestinians. an ap report says that just about half of that total has been civilians.
when i was a student at the university of michigan, i participated in a debate between pro-israel and pro-palestinian supporters. no hawkish pro-israel supporter accepted the invitation so a friend of mine asked me to participate. yes, the organization consistently highlighted what they felt were unjust acts committed against palestinians. and yes, the pro-palestinian supporters often undermined or rejected or ignored sensible arguments that highlighted israeli concerns or losses.
i hope that my ideas were thoughtful enough to persuade people that people who support an israeli state are not hateful or unjust. we also hope and pray for peace and justice. yet, i remember this moment, after all, because i remember that several pro-israel supporters strenuously argued that my debate helped legitimize the group's complaints and concerns. they argued that my participation amplified the group's hateful beliefs.
unfortunately, i think the same faulty reasoning lies at the heart of this conflict. there are two whole, parallel narratives that define the israeli-palestinian conflict. it is not my right to judge and dismiss either narrative. i have no power to legitimize or deligitimize someone's beliefs and opinions. in fact, the idea that we should not even talk (TALK!) with someone else because it will legitimize their opinions is so completely offensive and arrogant. in contrast, our democracy is centrally based on the free exchange of free ideas. second, when we boycott dialogue with our enemies, we also boycott the only mechanism that can lead to peaceful progress. we must talk to create peace, and we must create peace.
now. right right now.
the world needs to mobilize an immediate ceasefire and a binding resolution that refers any aggression to an international force. israel has a right to protect her citizens, but she does not have the right to lay waste to palestinian civilians. because the nature of gaza limits any opportunity for a just military action, the only just solution is an international agreement with international support for an international military force to govern the borders.
strong critics contend that israel has committed war crimes. israel has not committed war crimes. there is no holocaust. there is no question, in my opinion, that israel pursues a humane war. they hunt military targets. they try to limit causalities by projecting their advances. they drop leaflets and make radio addresses to warn civilians. they launch sound bombs as early warning signals. they have established a humanitarian corridor to alleviate some suffering. i wholly believe this is true.
however, war is not a perfectly clean operation. in fact, the very nature of war in the densely packed gaza strip insures horrific mistakes. yes, hamas fighters endanger palestinian civilians while they hide inside densely packed civilian areas. yet, we know that even precises strikes will endanger civilians. in fact, israeli strikes have misfired and accidentally killed more than 400 civilians. while i am completely certain israel does not target civilians, they have shown a basic indifference to their clear mistakes. a un school. a complete city block. whole families.
the war in gaza inhumane and unjust. it cannot be otherwise. how do you fight a war against a hateful enemy that will cause you to kill unarmed civilians in a densely packed urban area?
you don't fight it. you organize an international coalition to enforce peace.
i support israel, but i do not support this war. i believe in israel, but i do not believe in this war. i love israel, but i do not love this war.
for example, today's qassam count status writes, "QassamCount: At least 16 Hamas rockets hit Israel Saturday. 2 rockets hit houses in the city of Ashkelon."
there is no doubt that hamas rockets sent indiscriminately into israel were wrong and dangerous and should be considered offensive attacks. we must condemn them. hamas says that they want to destroy israel, and we should believe them. violence against israeli civilians is hateful and unjust. the qassamcounts aren't offensive because they are lies. i accept that the qassamcounts are probably true. (that palestinian militants continue to shoot missiles into southern israel, by the way, undermines the central mission of israel's offensive to stop rocket fire into israel proper.)
instead, i think the qassamcounts are offensive because they are so blind and deaf to real reality right now. the israeli response, in ten days of fighting, has killed more than 800 palestinians. an ap report says that just about half of that total has been civilians.
when i was a student at the university of michigan, i participated in a debate between pro-israel and pro-palestinian supporters. no hawkish pro-israel supporter accepted the invitation so a friend of mine asked me to participate. yes, the organization consistently highlighted what they felt were unjust acts committed against palestinians. and yes, the pro-palestinian supporters often undermined or rejected or ignored sensible arguments that highlighted israeli concerns or losses.
i hope that my ideas were thoughtful enough to persuade people that people who support an israeli state are not hateful or unjust. we also hope and pray for peace and justice. yet, i remember this moment, after all, because i remember that several pro-israel supporters strenuously argued that my debate helped legitimize the group's complaints and concerns. they argued that my participation amplified the group's hateful beliefs.
unfortunately, i think the same faulty reasoning lies at the heart of this conflict. there are two whole, parallel narratives that define the israeli-palestinian conflict. it is not my right to judge and dismiss either narrative. i have no power to legitimize or deligitimize someone's beliefs and opinions. in fact, the idea that we should not even talk (TALK!) with someone else because it will legitimize their opinions is so completely offensive and arrogant. in contrast, our democracy is centrally based on the free exchange of free ideas. second, when we boycott dialogue with our enemies, we also boycott the only mechanism that can lead to peaceful progress. we must talk to create peace, and we must create peace.
now. right right now.
the world needs to mobilize an immediate ceasefire and a binding resolution that refers any aggression to an international force. israel has a right to protect her citizens, but she does not have the right to lay waste to palestinian civilians. because the nature of gaza limits any opportunity for a just military action, the only just solution is an international agreement with international support for an international military force to govern the borders.
strong critics contend that israel has committed war crimes. israel has not committed war crimes. there is no holocaust. there is no question, in my opinion, that israel pursues a humane war. they hunt military targets. they try to limit causalities by projecting their advances. they drop leaflets and make radio addresses to warn civilians. they launch sound bombs as early warning signals. they have established a humanitarian corridor to alleviate some suffering. i wholly believe this is true.
however, war is not a perfectly clean operation. in fact, the very nature of war in the densely packed gaza strip insures horrific mistakes. yes, hamas fighters endanger palestinian civilians while they hide inside densely packed civilian areas. yet, we know that even precises strikes will endanger civilians. in fact, israeli strikes have misfired and accidentally killed more than 400 civilians. while i am completely certain israel does not target civilians, they have shown a basic indifference to their clear mistakes. a un school. a complete city block. whole families.
the war in gaza inhumane and unjust. it cannot be otherwise. how do you fight a war against a hateful enemy that will cause you to kill unarmed civilians in a densely packed urban area?
you don't fight it. you organize an international coalition to enforce peace.
i support israel, but i do not support this war. i believe in israel, but i do not believe in this war. i love israel, but i do not love this war.
Wednesday, January 7
ceasefire.

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.... Returning violence for violence multiples violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"On Black Power"
1967
Sunday, January 4
Saturday, January 3
this is what i think.
1) sustained peace simply cannot be achieved by war. real peace can only ever be achieved by peace.
2) the hamas government has not pursued peace. they have a clear mission: the destruction of the state of israel. they mean what they say.
3) israel pursued a diplomatic strategy to contain the hamas government through an economic blockade. they received broad support that did severely restrict governance and eroded public support.
4) a sovereign nation has every right to defend itself when it is attacked. a country must be able to protect its citizens.
5) gaza clearly cannot defeat the israeli armed forces. when israel left lebanon the first time, and when they left lebanon after the last incursion, it is not because they were not able to achieve military superiority. it is because military superiority is not governance.
6) israel learned from a failed strategy in lebanon, and they are determined not to repeat the same mistakes. this incursion will be more powerful and more successful than the incursion into lebanon.
7) however, military incursions simply cannot deliver this peace. you can acknowledge that hamas incited this conflict, even as you acknowledge that israeli force will not deliver sustained peace.
8) israel clearly uses disproportionate force when they conduct air operations. further, bombs flown into densely populated areas are unjust. in my opinion, israel simply cannot pursue the heavy air operations if they inflict such high civilian casualties. leaflets, radio addresses, phone calls, and sound bombs simply do not justify those operations.
9) all civilian death is unjustified. it's not justified if a civilian is israeli. it's not justified if a civilian is palestinian.
10) we have to stand up when we believe things are not just. it doesn't matter who does what. it is not just for hamas militants to send missiles into israel. it is not just for israel to send heavy bomb barrages into densely populated civilian areas.
11) i would tell my kids the same thing. you punch a kid in the face it doesn't solve your problem. your problem is still there. and it's probably a little bit more pissed off.
12) why? war cannot deliver peace.
13) peace now.
2) the hamas government has not pursued peace. they have a clear mission: the destruction of the state of israel. they mean what they say.
3) israel pursued a diplomatic strategy to contain the hamas government through an economic blockade. they received broad support that did severely restrict governance and eroded public support.
4) a sovereign nation has every right to defend itself when it is attacked. a country must be able to protect its citizens.
5) gaza clearly cannot defeat the israeli armed forces. when israel left lebanon the first time, and when they left lebanon after the last incursion, it is not because they were not able to achieve military superiority. it is because military superiority is not governance.
6) israel learned from a failed strategy in lebanon, and they are determined not to repeat the same mistakes. this incursion will be more powerful and more successful than the incursion into lebanon.
7) however, military incursions simply cannot deliver this peace. you can acknowledge that hamas incited this conflict, even as you acknowledge that israeli force will not deliver sustained peace.
8) israel clearly uses disproportionate force when they conduct air operations. further, bombs flown into densely populated areas are unjust. in my opinion, israel simply cannot pursue the heavy air operations if they inflict such high civilian casualties. leaflets, radio addresses, phone calls, and sound bombs simply do not justify those operations.
9) all civilian death is unjustified. it's not justified if a civilian is israeli. it's not justified if a civilian is palestinian.
10) we have to stand up when we believe things are not just. it doesn't matter who does what. it is not just for hamas militants to send missiles into israel. it is not just for israel to send heavy bomb barrages into densely populated civilian areas.
11) i would tell my kids the same thing. you punch a kid in the face it doesn't solve your problem. your problem is still there. and it's probably a little bit more pissed off.
12) why? war cannot deliver peace.
13) peace now.
Thursday, January 1
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